


The Timekeeper

by predilection



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Fix-It, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2014-08-10
Packaged: 2018-02-12 09:40:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2104899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/predilection/pseuds/predilection
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Merlin can't change the timeline, but he can change something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Timekeeper

**Author's Note:**

> This is a (kinda) fix-it for the series finale so it contains spoilers for the series finale. Also, the character deaths that are referred to in this fic happen in canon.

"Are you sure you wish to do this?" the Timekeeper asked. 

"I do," Merlin said, determined. There was little that could change his mind now. 

"You wish to go back in time, yet time is not something to be toyed with," she warned. "It is not a plaything. It weaves through the very fabric of our lives and the very fabric of existence itself."

"I'm aware," Merlin said.

"Then you are aware that there are things even you, great warlock, can never alter."

Merlin knew she was referring to Arthur's death. He had discovered the Timekeeper when his grief and guilt were so raw that he had desperately searched for anything that could bring Arthur back.

"I'm aware," he said, again. He couldn't change Arthur's fate. He understood that now.

In the ten years since Arthur's death, Camelot had blossomed into a kingdom worthy of the vision Arthur and Merlin had shared. Gwen was a good, fair queen and perhaps the most intelligent one the kingdom had ever seen. It was she who united Albion and welcomed magic back to the land. Merlin was proud to stand at her side as her court sorcerer, his loyalty and duty to Camelot as fierce as it ever was.

Not a day had passed in which Merlin hasn't wished Arthur was still alive, but he now recognised that if he were to go back in time and prevent Arthur's death, then the Camelot they had worked so hard to build would cease to exist. Merlin knew that Arthur would never forgive him for such an act.

It angered Merlin when he realized that if he managed to go back in time, he wouldn't be able to interact with Arthur in the past, no matter how much he wished to. Any interaction between the two of them would alter their fates too much.

But there were others who had fallen that Merlin missed greatly and there were other things that Merlin regretted. There was one friend in particular that Merlin ached to see again. Gwaine had been loyal to Merlin as much as he had been loyal to Arthur and he had died the same day as Arthur and for the same cause. Over the years, Merlin had thought back to the last time he saw Gwaine alive. Gwaine had escorted him to the Crystal Caves, even when Merlin had offered no explanation as to why he needed to be there. Merlin remembered the look in Gwaine's eyes as they parted -- a look that spoke of their friendship and also of a fear that one or both of them would not survive the upcoming battle. 

Gwaine had asked Merlin why he needed to go to the caves. Merlin had replied that he couldn't tell him the reason.

He regretted not answering with the truth. At the time, he was too focused on getting his powers back and he was too used to hiding. In retrospect, Merlin had had no reason not to tell Gwaine right then and there that he was a warlock. Gwaine had been his most loyal friend and had died without knowing who Merlin really was.

Merlin stood up straighter and looked the Timekeeper in the eye. "But there is something I can alter -- something that won't alter fate's course."

He couldn't do anything to prevent Gwaine's death, but he could change the course of one conversation. He could go back and tell Gwaine what he always deserved to know.

The Timekeeper's dark eyes bore into his, and Merlin could feel her in his head searching his thoughts and intent. Her eyes flashed gold and then light purple before she withdrew from his mind. "Yes," she said. "That would be acceptable."

"Then take me," he said.

The Timekeeper placed her hands on his shoulders and began to sing. Merlin didn't recognise the melody and couldn't make out the lyrics, but he could feel the magic build in the air and pool in her body. Her dark skin began to glow gold and Merlin felt it when she channeled the power she summoned into his body. He felt a chill creep up his spine and slither around his throat. He took a deep breath. On the exhale he blinked and was no longer with the Timekeeper.

Merlin was in the moment he had longed to return to, inhabiting the body of his younger self. Gwaine stood before him very much alive, wearing the weary expression Merlin remembered. Merlin breathed in a shuddering breath and forced himself to not reach out and pull Gwaine to him. 

"What are you looking for?" Gwaine asked him, as he did a decade ago. 

As if the past wished to protect itself, Merlin felt a strange urge to utter his original reply. "I want to tell you, Gwaine," Merlin said instead.

"But you can't?" Gwaine asked, sounding neither surprised nor resigned. 

Merlin took a deep breath and felt the years that separated them threaten to choke him. He took another breath and told Gwaine what he dreamed of telling him for over a decade.

"I'm a sorcerer, Gwaine. I always have been. But now... Morgana has taken away my magic. The Crystal Caves are the birthplace of magic. I'm here to restore my magic so I can help Arthur in this battle." He waited for Gwaine's reaction, knowing that his confession must sound ridiculous to Gwaine.

Gwaine chuckled softly. He seemed to search Merlin's face, as if he felt like this could be some sort of prank. Merlin wondered if he could see the sadness, the regret, and the fear that Merlin felt. He must have seen something in Merlin's expression because Gwaine's own expression sobered. "Huh," he said at last. "That would explain some things."

Gwaine smiled slightly, and Merlin felt something heavy that he had been carrying deep inside of himself for years release as Gwaine said, "I hope you find what you're looking for."

He could feel the Timekeeper's magic and knew that any moment now, he'd be transported back to his time and that the timeline would continue as it had before. He had accomplished what he had set out to, though his sense of accomplishment was bittersweet. Gwaine would still die, but now he would go to his death knowing that Merlin had trusted him. Merlin would go on living knowing that Gwaine had accepted him. It was more than he could've hoped for. Merlin closed his eyes, ready for the Timekeeper to take him back.

It wasn't the Timekeeper's hands he felt on his shoulders this time and Merlin's eyes flew open in time to see the grin on Gwaine's face as he pulled Merlin into a hug. Merlin felt Gwaine's warmth envelope him. A startled sob escaped from Merlin's throat and he hugged Gwaine back, clinging to him and memorizing the moment as best he could.

Gwaine pulled back and a moment later, Merlin found himself face to face with the Timekeeper, her hands heavy on his shoulders.

She released him and he startled backwards, almost tripping as he did so. He wept, rubbing at the tears falling down his cheeks.

"Did you find what you sought, warlock?" she asked.

Arthur, Gwaine and the others were still dead, their fates ultimately unaltered, but Merlin could still feel Gwaine's warmth surrounding him. He could still feel Gwaine's faith in him.

"Yes," he choked out. "I think I did."


End file.
